Black Jesus!

Black Jesus! :D

^^^^^^^^^^^^
Good night! Its' Ben (<<<Did you see what I did there??) two days since my last very depressing blog post!
I felt weird not posting one last night, this whole blogging thing is entertaining.
Which is weird because nobody reads mine anyway.
So I'm much pretty posting my thoughts onto the internet for no one to see.

To start this blog post out, I'm gonna give an overdue shout out to my German reader!
I would also like to apologize for the low quality of my posts :O.

I would like to write some things out in German, but I don't know how to spell them, so I'm just going to compliment you on how awesome of a leader Bismarck was.
Excuse me, BOSSmarck. I mean, he was a total boss. Take a history class, you'll understand why!


In case any of you were concerned about my mental state from my last post, rest assured, well.....it hasn't gotten worse. I havent really thought about them in the past few days, maybe cuz of finals and friends! But that's good. Means I'm not thinking too much about them which would lead to a bad day. So now that I'm thinking about them less, mentally I'm improving. Girl #1 is almost completely out of my mind. I'm almost at the point where I simply don't care any more. That's gonna be great. When I found out she was dating her ex again, I felt terrible. Mostly because I kept thinking I would have more time. More time to maybe get one last desperate shot at it, or just to talk to her about it. But now that I'm nearing the point of not caring, I havent felt the urge to do any of those. Not even talk to her. And possibly a new youth group (?) means I can avoid her completely! Childish, yes, but what she did to me was immature so I'm returning the favor (Which is also kinda childish! teehee) :)

Girl #2, kinda a different story. Talked to her today (not about what was in the last post), it was about wedding dress shopping. My brother is engaged to her best friend! (That made it kinda awkward when we were dating, because my brother's fiancee would always tell me what to do in our relationship, and point out every mistake that I made. Needless to say, she is one of my least favorite people :O but I've got my reasons). (<< But that's another blog post rant). Anyway, I was hoping I could talk to her about it, but she kinda stopped texting me randomly. Mid conversation too, so I would have felt awkward trying to have a new conversation randomly. But hopefully, I will someday. It's been weird. I've been thinking a lot about what we had a year ago, but without any regrets. I'm beginning to question my sanity, I keep changing moods!

Time to mention how my parents fit into here? Sure. I haven't vented what they've done with this whole situation anyway. They both did their part in both girls :O
So pretty much, a month before our homecoming, my mom would literally almost beg me to ask my ex to homecoming. Really? That wouldn't be awkward at all. She did that every week, maybe once a day, for a good month. Or maybe a few weeks. It doesn't really matter: she was annoying as crap. For about a month, I had my mom, and my bro's fiancee try and get me and girl #2 back together. -_-  Such as one lovely conversation between me and my mom one night:
Mom: "Who are you texting?"
Me: "(Insert Girl #2's name here)......"
Mom's face brightens: "Oh!! Are you two getting back together?!?!"
Me: -_- *facepalm* Thinking: Wth?? Did you seriously just ask that?

WHOA.

INTRUSIVE SUBPLOT!!

Girl #1 also fits into here! While my mom was bickering at me to ask girl #2 to homecoming, my lovely sister brings up the idea of, "Ben should ask (Insert girl #1's name here) to homecoming! They would be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute! :)"
And instantly my mom freaked. Found out I was texting her also, and then threatened to go through my texts every night. By now I am completely confused. Sure, girl #1 did some bad stuff in the past, but she doesn't now. But my mom didn't care. I swear, I think one of the biggest reasons why she was upset with me talking to her, is that she was so caught up in the idea of me dating my ex again (Whom she completely loved). All she wanted was for me to get back with her, and not the new girl. And to do that, she forbade my from dating girl #1. Dead serious. Kicker was, she told me that the same day we started texting. I had never talked to her before then, so I'm not sure why my mom thought we were going to elope or something. Which was ironic, because when she said that, girl #1 told me her feelings for me, and then stopped talking to me. Anyway, the point is, my mom would kill for me to date my ex again. Why? Don't ask me. I want to know myself. She HATES girl #1. Good thing she (and I) won't have to worry about her anymore.

Now, do I want to get back together with her? No, I don't. I lost the feeling a year ago, I'm pretty sure it's impossible for me to get those feelings back without hanging out with her or anything.

Although I finally figured out blogs are for, I have yet to discover what I'm supposed to blog about. Because I'm pretty sure that ^^^^^^^ Isn't it. But I wrote it anyway to waster your time. I know if you're reading this, you could care less about my piece of crap interaction with people of the opposite sex. But I'm not writing this for you. It's for me. But you may ask, "Then why are you posting it online?" And to that I respond, "Because a blog post is a blog post, and I would feel empty without writing a blog post."


Song Titles That Described My Emotional Roller Coaster Of A School Year, Starting At Day 1!

"Starting Line"- The Northern Way
"Bad"- The Cab
"Caught Up In You"- We The Kings
"Back Again"- Parachute
"Come In, Or Stay Out"- The Heyday
"Almost"- Blowing For Soup
"A Beautiful Lie"- 30 Seconds to Mars
"Why"- Secondhand Serenade
"Blame It On Me"- Parachute
"Over You"- We The Kings
"Lowlife"- Theory of a Deadman
Over You again :)
"The Mess I Made"- Parachute
"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"- Green Day

Ian Quote Of The Day: "I didn't say that! All I said was my hips have more Sass!"